sharing my thoughts...yifen~*

*Blows away dust* It's been more than a year since I last blogged! Work has been overwhelming but thank God I am coping better now. Just missed blogging all of a sudden. =) I am not surprised if many people think that this blog has long disappeared. ;p

Well, just to update a bit on my life here. In a nutshell, teaching has been good despite the many challenges. Basically, I do a juggling act everyday. Sometimes, I picture myself as an octopus. Multi-tasking is definitely needed in this job. Teachers, agree? To me, the core of my job is teaching and learning. It always encourages me to see the twinkle in a child's eye, and an appreciative smile when a kind word is spoken to a child. There were times when I failed, but everyday is a day to be a better role model for my students, and to impart the right values. As a Christian teacher, I do pray that I may be able to discipline my students wisely and at the same time, to be the salt and light for God, attracting them to the good news which has transformed me.

With regards to preps for marriage, there are hurdles we have to cross, both now and in the future. Thank God we have His Word that point us to the reality, and to comfort us when we are down.

In terms of ministry, thank God that the youths are growing in their maturity as Christians, and taking more initiative. Pray that I will watch the way I live, and lead a life that the younger ones can imitate.

Glad that I can rest a bit this June before I enter into a new phase of my life as a full-fledged teacher. At some point, I was rather anxious about the challenges ahead of me, and wondered if work will drain me eventually. I guess it will to a certain extent, but as we are reminded in Philippians, "do not be anxious about anything." What I should do is to worry less and pray more. Anyway, before work kicks in, I'm glad for this break. I've been spending the past few days with my Dad. It's a rare chance that we spend time alone. Since my mum is away at church camp, I got to cook for him and talk to him more than ever. It's especially more meaningful as he turns 70 today. To him, it has been days of celebration. haha! He got to try my cooking which definitely can be improved! Cooking is fun, and reading food blogs motivates me to try out the recipes. Too bad I don't have an oven, can't do grills and baked stuff. It's definitely on my wishlist. Hee hee.

Flowers. I like them but think it is a waste of money to buy bouquets. ;p especially roses on V Day. Finally, I've managed to get this flower that I've always wanted. Thank you! (: Not that they aren't around, but most of them just have some weird messages on it, and don't appear cheerful enough to me. Haha..Anway, it sure brightens up my mood a bit and I'm going to place it at my cubicle when I start teaching. Smile! (:

Rom 7:15 I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
Rom 7:16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good.
Rom 7:17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
Rom 7:18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.
Rom 7:19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
Rom 7:20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.
Rom 7:21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand.
Rom 7:22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being,
Rom 7:23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind
and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members.

I know that it is insensitive to say those things, but I did it. I know that some things are not important, and I shouldn’t be bothered by it, yet I’m affected by it emotionally, and not serving others the way I should. I’m sorry for being impatient when I know that I should be patient, and just being so inward looking instead of being other-centred.

What I know, what I do, and what I feel will seldom reconcile whilst I’m still living as a foreigner in this world. Often, what I know is constant, while the actions and feelings are just inconsistent. I do not like the feeling when I know what is right, yet deep inside me, I’m battling with the feelings that I shouldn’t be having. It’s tough, and many will agree. This will always be a struggle I (and other Christians) will have to face till Christ returns, only then will we be perfected.

Rom 7:24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?
Rom 7:25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

Thank God that Romans 7 didn’t end at v23. If not, I would have probably given up the faith. It’s really comforting to know that Christ has paid the price of our sins and took upon the death we all deserve. May this post also encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you (both God and R) for being so patient with me.

My 1 yr and 2 months niece, Edna. :)

I got hooked on this curried pumpkin soup when I first tried it on a cool evening some months ago. Started having a craving for it again these few days and managed to have it last night, some more on a rainy night. What better weather than this to have a bowl of nice soup? A pity it was a tad bit cold but i couldn't care less as both soups were the last portions! R got hooked onto the grilled tomato and red peppers soup, and had lots of fun playing with the oil and vinegar, while I watched in amazement. Not because of the bubbles formed, but how he could have so much fun with those stuff. Anyway, the soups are really good, the health conscious will probably approve of it (i'm not really one by the way). Free flow of bread if you go for the soup and bread bar, which costs $6.50.

Now that Practicum's over and the final assignment submitted, I'm back to the usual routine of throwing and packing stuff during my break. In the midst of doing all these, thank God for the time to do some reflections on my walk with him, and also my relationship with those around me. In terms of ministry, somehow I've started shifting from teaching a group to one to one due to changes in arrangements in church etc. Have met up with a girl once and will be reading the bible with 2 other girls this coming Saturday, and hopefully, we can continue doing so once or twice a month. May God help me to be a faithful teacher of his Word, and also be clear in communicating it. There's always a tendency not to put in the best effort to prepare, appreciate your prayers in this. :) Much to be learnt not just in teaching the bible, but also in dealing with other practical aspects of one to one ministry.

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On another note, I went down to Starhub Centre today to renew my contract. Thank God for the MOE corporate subscription, it's much cheaper than my current one! Got a new phone also at $0. Though the process was quite fast, I managed to chat with the guy who attended to me. While transferring some of my contacts from my old phone to the new one, he saw the message 'God is Love' and said 'you are a christian right?' and starting telling me that he has stopped going to church after he entered poly. Apparently, he attended church during secondary school days due to BB. Pity we didn't have time to talk after that, pray that he will read the 2 Ways To Live gospel tract which I passed to him. It's interesting to see how God can open up gospel opportunities in our everyday life, even when we least expected it.

Everyone desires different things, be it tangible or intangible. As for Paul, what was his greatest desire? In the book of Galatians, Paul likens himself to be in the anguish of childbirth for the Galatians, and he greatly desires to see Christ formed in them (4:19).

In the light of the Galatians turning to false teachings, Paul can’t help but feel perplexed and can only warn them time and again that it is only through faith in Christ alone which saves them – You started with faith, continue in it. Christ has paid a high price for your freedom, why submit yourselves to law again? A challenge was put forth at the end of the sermon this morning. How great is your desire to see Christ formed in others? That is, to see others growing increasingly in Christ-likeness. This question doesn’t just challenge our time and efforts, but more deeply, our motivation in Christian ministry. Even as I work on being more diligent in my preparation in bible teaching, may my motivation be the same as Paul’s.

Yes, Chinese comprehension can be tough, but comprehending the bible and communicating its truths is definitely not easy. In a recent bible study leaders training session, this challenging task was once again presented clearly to me. The conclusion I came to at the end was that I really fall short of what is needed for a good bible study. Do I really comprehend what the passage really says? I’m afraid I’ve fallen into the trap thinking I do, but in reality, I do not truly comprehend it. Laziness and complacency have crept in. It is only when I was told the importance of writing in a sentence or two the main points of a passage that I realized that I’ve long neglected this very important step. It’s high time I work on this!

One more thing which I really want to give thanks to God also is that I’ve been able to attend the midweek bible study group despite the heavy workload. A good break from the lesson plans and stuff, and getting my mind focused on Christ again. It’s been a challenge spending time reading God’s Word on weekdays, not to mention studying it. There’s always the temptation to get into the hustle and bustle of teaching once I enter the office, with a mental To Do List waiting to be checked off. There are times when I simply gave excuses that I’m in a rush for time or having that feeling of insecurity that my teaching resources and lesson plans are not printed out yet.

On this note, I thank God for rebuking me recently for my lack of diligence in the studying of the bible, and half-hearted preparation in bible teaching. It’s been really humbling. Will share more about it in the next few entries.

Day after day, week after week…It’s been a while since I last blogged (again). Practicum’s fine so far, and time really flies! Fleeting moments on this earth. Heh. It’s so much faster than the first round, and observations come and go so quickly. Getting quite used to the school considering that I’ve been there a couple of times for School Experience and Practicum I. Thank God for sustaining me and giving me the wisdom to plan for the lessons, and by His grace, provided helpful people along the way too. Classroom management is a challenge day by day, especially with regards to my unmotivated and rowdy P5 class. Shall not dwell on it too much here lest this becomes a grievance channel.

Thank God for Christian fellowship made possible through His son Jesus Christ. Am really thankful to God for two encouraging meet up sessions with different brothers and sisters in Christ this week. It was encouraging not just because we have not met up for a while, but there was true encouragement in the Word, and not just words of comfort. Even as we shared about the ministries in our different churches, and also sharing our lives and the issues we face, we were once again reminded of our gracious and loving God who gave up His Son for us, so that we are saved from the penalty of death and judgment. In response to this and in the light of Christ’s sure return, our only right response is gratitude and thankfulness, and loving Him and others more and more. Many a times, we focus so much on the ‘doing’ of ministry, and our problems that we tend to forget that our God is sovereign, and whose ways are higher than our ways. His Word has clearly shown us how we should live. In a sense, the ‘solution’ to the issues we face in our lives has already been given, it’s just whether we take that ‘solution’ or not. Come to think of it, isn’t this easier than having to rack our brains to think of our own?

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On another note, I received a paper bag filled with a variety of biscuits and two bars of chocolates from a sister in church. I am really touched by her concern that I may not be having regular meals during my upcoming Practicum. Her act of love and thoughtfulness has humbled me as I reflect on my love for others, and this is truly a model for us all.

* She joked that she's the supplier for the first two weeks only, and the remaining six will have to be taken care of by someone else, whose response is "She spoil market lah." Hahaha..