Saturday, July 02, 2005
“伊芬，你变了！”
Many thoughts are running through my head. Perhaps I'm in one of those reflective modes again. Well, at least there's still time to reflect despite a busy week.
Like I've mentioned before, I see myself as a crappy person. In a way, only people close to me can see that, although I do joke with people I meet. I wonder why I've become like this. Is it due to the influence of the people around me? (Anyone feeling guilty?), or is it just my personality? It could be both, but I think the second reason is definitely true. As I observe my parents, I kind of get the answer. Both my parents are chatty and my mum is rather witty. Blame the genes? Of course, I do have a part to play in controlling myself. Heh. Anyway, the crux of this issue is whether this crappiness side of me is a stumbling block to others, especially non-Christians. During a class gathering two days ago, my NIE classmates and I had a good time catching up. As teachers-to-be, you can expect most of us to be chatty. In fact, I think I pale in comparison to The Chatterers in my class. Anyway, I can't remember exactly what I said. What a friend said stumped me. “伊芬，你变了！” She claimed it wasn't a serious comment, but I decided to give it some serious thought. Perhaps there is some truth in it. I guess the reason is because we've built our friendship to a certain level where I show my true colours? What worries me is whether it has affected their impression of me as a Christian. The Bible talks being encouraging in speech but none about crappiness. I've come to the conclusion that it is fine to crap once in a while, but not excessively, because it irritates some people, and worst, stumbling others. Defintely not an expression of others-centredness.
To my non-Christian friends out there, my apologies if I've irritated you before in my speech and action. I pray that I may seek to display the attributes of a true Christian, and that you will see a difference in me. Most importantly, you may know that it is God working in me so that I can transform into Christ-likeness. May this also cause you to think more about the Jesus I proclaim as Lord and Saviour. :)
Do pinch me when I get too crappy!
